I wanted to explore rhythm, rhyme and humour in this poem. I took the short-cut of being inspired by Glyn Maxwell’s Deep Sorriness Atonement Song. Works best if read aloud while tap dancing to Gilbert and Sullivan. Use a metronome.

I’m Angry, Very AngryMad man venting steam from ears
(Or How to deal with evil in the office)

It’s not that my good nature can’t be flexed upon occasion
And at work I’m easy going – quite gentle of persuasion
My heart beats in my breast with a tolerant approach
And my lips are trusty guardians of any mean reproach
But my bile is on the rise
With all that this implies
For I’m angry, very angry
And it’s Julie I despise

A therapist might take me down a useful path or two
Fifty quid an hour! “To thine own dear self be true”
I’m done with id and ego and “it’s all your mother’s fault”
Endless self-absorption, I have to call a halt
For I’m always full of spite
When my eyes on her alight
Yes, I’m angry, very angry
And I have Julie in my sights

A minister would warn me, that I’m on the road to hell
“Pray for the poor devil, try to break the evil spell!”
But I’d rather pray for Pol Pot, Mugabe or the banks
Than compromise my malice, I’m ashamed to be so frank
My anger is voracious
Yes, I’d like to be more gracious
But I’m angry, very angry
And it’s Julie who’s vexatious

Voodoo has its drawbacks; I’m not too safe with pins
And I can’t do evil cackles or nasty rictus grins
An accident might do it, say a tripwire on the steps,
Curare in a blowpipe or arsenic in her Schweppes
I know it sounds extreme
A twisted, wicked dream
But I’m angry, very angry
And it’s Julie who is mean

I’m drowning in a maelstrom of extravagant emotion
With Julie at the vortex: look we’re moving in slow motion
I need to stop this nonsense; she’s a colleague after all
I’m going to speak directly, and to exorcise my gall
I sneer with some distaste
“My blu-tack’s been misplaced!”
That’s why I’m angry, very angry
That’s why Julie is disgraced

DJMac © 2013

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