Warrant Outstanding by DJ Mac – read by Sian Fiddimore

I liked the idea of subverting the themes in the Wizard of Oz though this poem ended up a bit darker than intended. Also purists will note that in the true story when it comes time to go home our heroine misses the balloon and clicks her heels together instead. Too lame and too tame! Warning: not suitable for younger children and those of a sensitive disposition.

Warrant Outstanding

They say she never meant to kill,
The pigtails and blue gingham girl,
But in this tale, it’s plain to see,
Lies blatant sociopathy

As soon as chance gives her a break
Her loving aunt she does forsake
Grabs her mongrel, then takes flight
Does colour crave, not black and white

A sudden change to her postcode
Left bloodstains on the yellow road
She squashed a witch and stole her shoes
And then corralled her motely crew

Scarecrow, big cat out to grass
Tin Man: Purpose? – Kick some ass
A gang of misfits, that’s for sure
Terror was the plat du jour

Heading for the Emerald City
Her attitude is cold and shitty
“I’ll nip Toto ‘til he’s sore
We’re not in Kansas anymore!”

She petrified the Land of Oz
Wiled Munchkins to her horrid cause
Sent monkeys flying, oh how they quivered
Made out with Oz’s powerful wizard

This tawdry tale is almost done
But even now she’ll have more fun
She kills again and steals once more
This murderess and thieving whore!

Final reel: she drops her friends
With no attempt to make amends
Escapes in a hot air balloon
While belting out her best known tune

Back home, she smirks at gathered friends
And here she shamelessly commends
“It’s true however far I roam
There’s really no place quite like home”

They say she never meant to kill,
The pigtails and blue gingham girl
But in this tale, it’s plain to see
Lies blatant sociopathy.

© DJ Mac 2013

Warrant Outstanding: written by DJ Mac; read by Sian Fiddimore; sound production and editing by Ian Sharman. You can listen to more collaborative creative work on Soundcloud