This is dedicated to the MSPs and civil servants at the Scottish Government who made such things possible.
With apologies to AA Milne.Kings

King Will asked
King John, and
King John asked the deacon:
‘Could we have a licence now
So we may soon be wed?’
King John asked
The deacon,
The deacon
Said, ‘Certainly,
I’ll go and tell the bishop
Now before he goes to bed.’

The deacon
He nodded,
And went and told
The priest in charge:
‘Don’t forget the license
For the chaps,’ was what he said.

The priest in charge
Said pointedly:
‘You’d better tell
His Majesty,
King Will
(Who’s drop dead gorgeous)
Should find a maid

The deacon
Said, ‘Fancy!’
And went to
His Majesty.
He bowed to King John, and
He turned a little red:
‘Excuse me,
Your Majesty,
For taking of
The liberty,
But princesses
Are more germane
Than blokes
It’s widely said.’

King John said
And went to
His Majesty:
‘Talking of the license
So we Royals may soon be wed,
Many people
Think that
The fairer sex
Are nicer.
How about a little trial
Of courtesan instead?’

King Will said,
‘Stuff this!’
And then he said,
‘Fizzing heck!’
The King growled, ‘What the flip?’
And went back to bed
He howled,
‘Could call me
A tiresome man;
I only want
The privilege
Of wedding you,’
He said.

King John said
‘Cool it Will!’
And went to the Deacon.
The deacon
Said, ‘Easy now!’
And to the church
He sped
The Bishop said,
‘Holy shoot!
The Cardinal won’t like it
But parliament has acted
And it’s now full steam ahead.’

King John took
The license
And brought it to
His Majesty;
King Will said,
‘A license, eh?’
And bounced out of bed
Nobody, he said,
As he kissed John tenderly,
Nobody, he said,
As he slid down
The bannisters,
Nobody my handsome king
Could call me
A fussy man,
I am so delighted that we’ll soon be duly wed!’

© DJ Mac 2014

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